Enjoy the moment is a parenting cliché I have heard that leaves me unsettled. Each time I hear it, it rings in my ears. While I understand the sentiment, it feels like it negates the fullness of the parenting relationship.
Parenting is beautiful and messy. It affects all aspects of me as a person – mind, body, and spirit. It can be full of priceless moments that fill my heart with love, pride, and precious memories that are life giving. Other moments I am filled with self-doubt, discouragement, and exhaustion. Parenting is dynamic and ever changing. While I can only speak to the seasons I have walked through, there are many nuances that affect these parenting moments for all of us.
I would like to reframe enjoy the moment to be present in the moment. The power of presence allows us to capture the human element of parenting. It gives us permission to hold both joy and challenges at once. Not all moments of parenting are enjoyable; however, each moment has a purpose and is worth it. The practice of presence provides teachable moments and a positive model for our children. It helps us identify and regulate emotions without suppressing them or losing control.
Practicing the power of presence helps me acknowledge and attend to the individual and collective needs in my parenting relationships. When I am overwhelmed or do not have it all together, it allows me to reach out for help without feeling shame or guilt. It allows me to be mindful of the fullness of today and recognize the impact it has on tomorrow. Being present in the moment expands my community. My community members provide respite when I am weary, and being present allows me to reach out to another mother who may be in a difficult season.
Mindful parenting is the practice of presence rather than a state of being. There are certainly some days when I am better at it than others. However, when I can get into the flow of mindful parenting – I am a better mother. I acknowledge my limitations, and rest when I need to, so that I can pour back into my family and our relationships. When my cup is full, there are more opportunities to enjoy the moment.
To learn more about mindfulness and parenting, register for CHKD’s four-part series Mindful Moments, Parenting Reset, now available on demand at CHKD.org/Classes.
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About Jeane N. Liburd, MA, CCLS
Jeané Liburd has worked in the field of child Iife since 2005. She earned a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and is trained in play therapy. She currently serves as an adjunct instructor for Liberty University. Throughout her career, she has provided services for children and families in various settings including hospitals, pediatric hospice, and community programs. The focus of her work is supporting children and families who have experienced illness, grief, and loss.
