Sometimes, children love to do chores; sometimes, they don’t. If you give a 3-year-old a damp cloth, they will “dust” for hours. A 4-year-old might enjoy playing with warm water and soapsuds while pretending to wash the dishes. However, a 10-year-old whose main chore is to clean the cat’s litter box may not be as enthusiastic.

Do you remember doing chores as a kid? Families often have different ideas about how, when, and if children should have chores and whether they should be paid to do them.

While each family should choose what is best for them, we do know that contributing around the house can be beneficial for children. Here’s why:

• It generates a sense of belonging and significance.
• It teaches valuable skills like organization and time management.
• It sets a good foundation for independent functioning (now and later in life).
• It teaches responsibility and accountability.

One fixed rule when considering how to dole out chores is to take time for training. As a parent, be clear about what is expected and show your child how to do a specific job. I remember hearing from a mom who said she was frustrated that her 10-year-old left a wet trail of crumbs on the counter every time it was their turn to wipe down the counter after dinner. The mom eventually realized she had never actually shown her child the correct way to wipe down a counter. Use a damp, not wet, cloth and push all the crumbs toward the front of the counter into your waiting hand for disposal in the sink or garbage can. Problem solved!

When making decisions about chores, be sure to include your children in the discussion. Children are much more likely to cooperate when they are part of the planning process.

Consider the types of chores that children of different ages can successfully complete.

• Young children can learn to help by picking up toys, dressing themselves, or putting their shoes and jackets in a closet.
• School-aged children can pick up their rooms, sweep, dust, fold, and put away laundry, or clear the table after dinner. They might also enjoy grocery shopping with you and putting the groceries away.
• As children become more responsible, they can feed pets, help with yard work, or prepare simple foods.

Other ideas to consider:

• Do you want to provide an allowance or incentive for doing chores?
• Do you want to rotate chores or assign specific tasks to each family member? For example, the same person may not want to clean the bathroom every week while someone else gets to run the vacuum.
• What consequences do you want to put in place if someone forgets or neglects to do their chores?

Remember, doing chores doesn’t have to be drudgery. Play music while sweeping or folding laundry. Prepare a fun family meal together. Motivate each other by doing something as a family when the chores are complete, “Let’s get these chores knocked out so we can go to the park!”

When family members work, play, and live together, there will be messes. Children learn about their own efficacy and gain a sense of belonging when everyone works together to clean up.

About Michele Tryon, CCLS

Michele Tryon, CHKD community outreach coordinator and parent educator has worked with children and families for 30 years, providing services in the hospital, home, school and community setting. Michele is a Certified Child Life Specialist, a Certified Positive Discipline™ parent educator, a nationally recognized trainer/consultant for Nurturing Parenting Programs™ and co-author of The Nurturing Program for Parents and Their Children with Special Needs and Health Challenges©.