Coping with Crying

Crying is one way your baby communicates. It’s his way of letting you know he needs you. Always respond promptly. Don’t worry about whether you are spoiling your baby by going to him every time he cries. You can’t spoil a baby at this early age (the first 3 months). Check to see if your baby is crying because he is hungry, wet, hot, cold, tired, lonely, bored or in pain. Sometimes changing your baby’s position or diaper or just a little cuddling may be all he needs. Your comforting touch or the sound of your voice may make him more comfortable. Wrapping him snugly in a blanket (not too tightly) may help. But leave his hands free so he can get them to his mouth for sucking.

Some babies have long crying spells lasting several hours. When there is no medical problem, this type of crying is often called “colic.” If your baby is fussy and cannot be consoled, discuss the problem with her pediatrician. If there are no medical reasons for her crying, your baby will get through this period by about 12 weeks of age.

Since heavy crying often takes place in the evening when parents are tired and their coping skills may have worn thin, it’s important to have a plan to deal with the situation. Plan how you are going to console your baby and how you are going to help yourself get through the situation as well.

Tips for comforting a crying baby

• Hold your baby close to your body and walk or rock him while talking or singing softly.
• While sitting, lay your baby face down across your knees, gently patting his back.
• Try a wind-up bed or swing to rock your baby to sleep.
• Play soft music or turn on the dryer or vacuum cleaner.
• Take your baby for a stroller ride or car ride.

If none of these tips work, lay your baby down gently in his crib and walk away for a few minutes to see if he’ll calm down on his own.

Take care of yourself

If you become frustrated and feel like hitting or shaking your baby, lay him gently on his back in a safe place such as his crib and walk away. Take a deep breath and call a friend or the baby’s doctor. But never shake or hit a baby.

It’s normal to have mixed feelings about babies when they cry. You may feel overwhelmed, burned out, depressed, tired, frustrated irritable, angry and even afraid. Never take these feelings out on your baby. Try the following instead:

• Give yourself a break from your baby from time to time.
• Don’t be afraid to ask friends or relatives to help you.
• Talk to someone about your feelings if you get overly angry during baby’s crying spells.
•  Ask your pediatrician about a parent support group.
• Get help when you need it.